


Bloody Godtiers

by Scoliwings



Category: Homestuck
Genre: IT'S GAY, M/M, talking about triggers, terezi/vriska mentioned, they wear each other's clothes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2019-02-05 18:44:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12800097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scoliwings/pseuds/Scoliwings
Summary: For a short time on the meteor, Dave switches out of his god-tier pajamas and into regular clothes. Karkat finds his pajamas and tries them on. Shenanigans ensue.





	Bloody Godtiers

**Author's Note:**

> OH JEEZ I DIDN'T EXPECT TO ACTUALLY FINISH THIS
> 
> welcome to my first finished fanfic on here, enjoy the ride

_ Dammit. _

He couldn't think of anything to exact his revenge on Strider after that "penis oujia" thing he'd gotten dragged into. But there had to be something! For fucking bulge's sake, there were probably countless things to do on this boring meteor, and all they'd done so far were some strifes, watched all the movies and read all the books between the trolls and humans, and they were almost finished with the piles of romantic troll fiction Karkat had brought along. 

The nubby-horned troll snapped out of his train of thought as he walked straight into an unlocked door and fell into somebody's room. He pushed himself back up, noting that this was Strider's room. And the inhabitant of the room in question wasn't here.  _ Perfect. _

Karkat's ganderbulbs surveyed the room, glancing around for any chances at a revenge, or maybe even a prank. Wouldn't that be fucking wonderful. They fell upon a set of red pajamas in a corner, thrown on a pile of clothes that were probably dirty. 

Thoughts sped through his thinkpan, his alarms almost sounding right away.  _ Oh no, no, no!  _ He poked at the god-tier pajamas, gauging the pros and cons of putting them on. On one hand, they looked incredibly comfy. What he wouldn't give to get his hands on that cape. It would certainly piss off that Strider kid. On the other...

Well, whatever, Karkat thought. This was the best idea that'd gone through his thinkpan in sweeps, he convinced himself as he took off his sweater and began putting on the Knight of Time's godtier clothes.

\--

Something was suspiciously off. No, something was most definitely missing. Dave could've sworn he'd put his red robes on that dirty pile of clothes. Goddammit, his red cape! That glorious piece of shit was gone! He bolted into the common area as soon as he saw the empty spot on his pile.

Swinging the doors open, he proclaimed, "Where's my godtier pajamas, I swear I  _ will _ shish-kebab the next person I see wearing them. Who's the asshole that took them?"

The first people he saw were Rose and Kanaya, cuddling on a sofa, suddenly frozen. Kanaya reacted first, slowly and carefully scooting off Rose's lap and away from her, her face flushed a bright jade. Rose looked somewhat disappointed, glaring slightly at her brother. 

She replied, "Well, it certainly isn't either one of us. Maybe you should look for Terezi. I hear she's the best lawyer around these parts."

"Legislacerator," Kanaya corrected. 

"Thank you. The best legislacerator around these parts, if not the only one."

Dave groaned. "Oh please, no. Things with her have been rocky enough as it is already. I don't think she's exactly up to snuff, much less sniff around for clues."

Kanaya seemed to take a moment to think about it, "But would it not make sense? Did Terezi and you not partake in a prior relationship?" She fiddled with her lipstick for a bit. "I would take it that she may have had a motive to burgle your pajamas."

"I haven't even had any beef with her lately! She's been canoodling around with her girlfriend. God fuckin' forbid I catch her making out with the spidertroll. Speaking of, you gals need to just. Stop doing that PDA thing in the common area. I hate walking into a, uh--" he faltered as he heard footsteps behind him, a  _ "FUCK!" _ , then a particularly loud slamming-shut of the doors. Rose and Kanaya gave each other glances, barely containing their laughter.

Dave turned around so quickly it almost gave him whiplash, bounding towards the doors and smashing through them. Someone had tried to barricade them without any success. He flew through the hallways at breakneck speed, nearly flinging himself at the person in front of him who was running as if his life depended on it, which it probably did. 

The human was about to tackle the troll when he ducked, making Dave crash into the wall instead, giving himself a bloody nose. The troll wearing his clothes turned around, panicking.

"FUCK! Fuck! Fuck! Fucking jegus, I'm sorry! I could not give any less of a fucking shit about your clothes, but-- oh god oh god please let that be grub sauce please let it be grub sauce oh god make believe time is over FFFUUUU _ UUUUUCCK--" _

Dave interrupted before he could scream any more. "Karkat, just shut up. Ow. Happen to have any handkerchiefs or tissues catalogued? Quick, before my nose bleeds itself out onto the floor and decides to do an acrobatic pirouette off the handle. Please don't make me clean this up."

The normally angry troll seemed to be too shaken to do anything, though. Dave simply took a towel from his modus and pressed it to his bleeding nose. The hallway went silent as they sat down, one sinking into his comfortable clothes, the other beginning to shiver in the absence of said comfortable clothes. Karkat clenched his claws into his clothes, clearly worried about something. He kept looking away from Dave's direction.

Dave waved over, trying to get him to meet his eyes despite the fact that they were constantly veiled in shades. "Karkat. Karkat, come on. You okay?"

He stuttered, "Me, okay?  _ Me? _ What about  _ you, _ you shitstain? I made you crash into the wall and you're bleeding! I don't even want to know how your thinkpan isn't broken already from that impact, it looked so fucking bad. Strider, I-I've let too many of my friends die. I don't need one more on my conscience."

"Aww, you care about me?"

Dave was met with silence. He backtracked. "I mean - hold up, hold up.  _ That's _ why you panicked? Because you were afraid I'd die?"

Covering his face in his hands, Karkat muttered, "No, nooksniffer. The sight of your blood brought back memories. Bad memories. Some knight of blood I turned out to be, being triggered just by the sight of blood. I don't even know why I'm wearing your fucking clothes, they're as red as my blood. I hate this."

The human scooted closer. "Uh. Hey, it's okay. I mean, look at me. Wait, don't, my nose's still bleeding. I mean figuratively. I'm supposed to be the one who fights the big bad boss, but to be honest? I can't bring myself to think about fighting. I don't want to fight anymore. It brings back memories of my old life, back at home, back with Bro... ha, actually let's stop at that. I don't want to think about this."

"Strider-" he said, looking up.

Dave inched closer. "But y'know what I want to talk about? Your clothes.  _ My  _ clothes. Those are mine, you asshole. I demand one of the sickest explanations ever, in the form of rap."

The shorter boy bristled immediately, his eyes widening in realization. He'd forgotten he was still wearing Strider's god-tier pajamas. "What! No no no! I don't even know how to spout that kind of shit from my waste chute, that's strictly in the territory of human slam poetry! I just saw them lying on the floor and didn't want them to get dirty, so I put them on."

"Give them back. Right now."

"Fuck off by sticking your ass into your auricular sponge clots and shitting into them. Then stab that with a trident, the kind Meenah uses. I'm sure she'd enjoy that. All that's left for you to do with this horribly shitty mess is to kick it into the forge, where it'll make this awful universe implode straight up your waste chute."

Dave smiles, putting his arm around Karkat's shoulders. "Feeling better, huh?"

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Karkat can feel him shrug, "If I can't get you to take off my clothes, I figure I can enjoy the cape, at least. You know everybody loves the cape. And you're a cape magnet, so why can't I be around the cape magnet, maybe I'll encounter the missing cape sooner or later."

The troll facepalms. "Oh my god."

He realizes his Freudian slip. "Shit! I meant for you to take off my clothes, the clothes that belong to me, that are not on my person. They're on your person! And those are my clothes, and-"

"Strider, I get it. Stop saying bullshit, you're making this worse for everyone involved."

"I, um, yeah, I'll go. Back to my room. Bye." The human quickly gets up and dashes to his room.

\---

Karkat realizes a grave mistake he's made. He left his only clean clothes in Strider's room. He's at the door to his room, slamming his head against the door and swearing to himself as quietly as he can. He can't even enter because the guy locked his door, doing god knows what to his clothes, leaving him to wonder what it is, only to immediately dismiss  _ that _ train of thought.

Until the door opens and Strider steps out wearing Karkat's sweater and pants. Before Karkat can even blink, he takes off his shades and pins them on Karkat's head as the angry troll flails his hands around trying to stop Strider. 

"What the fuck?! I don't fucking want these! What are you doing??"

His smile is wider than before, his exposed face suddenly even more radiant to Karkat. He finds himself staring for a few seconds before looking away. Oh god, no, was his face actually warming up?

"You look exactly like me, but with an even cuter expression. I didn't even think those eyebrows would look that hot with sunglasses, but they do."

Shit, shit,  _ fucking shit! _ "What! No! I'm not that hot! Strider, are you some kinds of brain damaged? I'm the trashiest boy you could possibly cast your fucking hideous gaze on. Stop saying these lies about mm _ mmph-- _ " His self-depreciating babbling is interrupted by one of Strider's hands on his lips.

"I, um." Oh, wow, that normally cool boy actually looks nervous for once. Probably because his eyes aren't covered in sunglasses. "Uh. I didn't mean to say that. Damn, that has to be the worst Freudian slip I've made yet. Can we just forget about what I said and walk around the meteor showing off our totally awesome cosplays of each other?"

"C...cosplays? Strider, is your thinkpan still screwed up from that crash? This is a  _ textbook _ flushed display of affection. Fuckall to god, all of this flirting from you was so obvious I should have shoved a knife up my lobe stem and thrown myself into the void of horrorterrors and hoped everything about me was scratched from reality. Why didn't I notice this sooner? Why didn't you just tell me?"

"Oh, uh, I'm not--"

"Not what? A homosexual? Gay? Fuck that. I don't know exactly what made your fucked up civilization believe that being gay is bad, but whatever that means, it isn't fucking bad. You can be into whoever your vascular system happens to throb for. Literally no one here fucking cares if you like boys or girls or whatever."

That made the conversation come to a standstill. They stand their grounds outside Strider's room for a moment.

Finally he takes hold of Karkat's hand and responds.

"Yeah, you're right. I shouldn't worry so much about this. So, uh, are we into each other? Is that a thing now?"

"I fucking guess so. What was that thing you said you wanted to do again? Go 'walk around the meteor showing off our totally awesome cosplays of each other?'"

He laughs nervously, "Yes. That is a thing I did say. That is totally a thing I want to do. Will we do that?"

"We fucking will, Dave," Karkat grins and pulls him towards the doors to the common room.


End file.
